he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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