so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
