Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
