Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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