can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
