she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
