Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
