your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize