Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I wear drunk well.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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