chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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