I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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