Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have post one night stand depression
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