Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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