this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
