Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
