Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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