North Korea, Best Korea!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
