well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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