I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
