i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
