I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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