You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
