She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
