Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
