i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
