I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
