I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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