He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
