He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
