DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
