i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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