Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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