and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
