remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
