Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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