i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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