my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
