if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
