Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
