his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
