STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
