I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
