Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
