I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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