she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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