I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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