Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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