I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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