i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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