Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
