I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
