i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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