Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
