my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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