Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
