He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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