Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
