SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
