he wants to bone in the snuggie
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
