yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize