I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
