Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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