Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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